Archive for May, 2007
True Story
This morning on the way to work I rear-ended a car at the stop light. My bad, I wasn’t really paying attention.
The driver got out of his car. I look down… and he was a dwarf.
He said, “Look here, I’m not happy…”
I replied, “Well, which one are you then?”
Add comment May 31, 2007
Daddy, how was I born?
A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: ‘You got Male!’”
Add comment May 29, 2007
Too good for toilet papaer?
A man enters his bathroom as his wife is standing before the mirror, examining her breast. “I wish they were bigger,” she complains.
He’s heard this before, and is tired of telling her they are just fine, so instead he says, “A good way to make them grow is to rub a piece of toilet paper between them for a few seconds every day.” Desperate to try anything, she takes a piece ot toiler paper and starts rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks her husband. “A few years, maybe.”
“Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them grow over the years?”
“It worked for your ass, didn’t it?”
Add comment May 28, 2007
Are His Lights On?
A brunette and a blonde were speeding down the street when they passed a cop. “Oh no!” cried the brunette. “Is he following me?”
“Yep,” replied the blonde.
“I’m going to drive down this little side road, okay?” said the brunette.
“Yep,” replied the blonde.
“Is the cop still following me?”
“Yep.”
“Are his lights on?”
“Yep, nope, yep, nope, yep, nope…”
Add comment May 25, 2007
