Posts filed under 'Blonde'
Blonde goes into a job interview
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. “So, Miss,” the interviewer asks, “Can you tell us your age, please?”
The airhead counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying, “Um… 22.”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?”
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head, checks the measurement, and announces, “Five foot two.”
This isn’t looking good, so the interviewer goes for the real basics, something she won’t have to count, measure, or look up. “Just to confirm our records, what is your name, please?”
The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something to herself, before replying, “Jenny.”
The interviewer is completely baffled, so he asks, “What did you do when I asked you your name?”
“Oh, that!” replies the airhead, “I was just running through that song, you know: ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear…’”
Add comment June 27, 2009
Blonde ambition
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, ‘Which do you think is farther away…Florida or the moon?’
The other blonde turns and says ‘Helloooooooooo, can you seeFlorida?????’
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, ‘What’s the story?’
He replies, ‘Just crap in the carburetor’
She asks, ‘How often do I have to do that?’
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, ‘I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!’
RIVER WALK
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. ‘Yoo-hoo!’ she shouts, ‘How can I get to the other side?’
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, ‘You ARE on the other side.’
AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
‘Impossible!’ says the doctor. ‘Show me.’
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, ‘You’re not really a redhead, are you?
‘Well, no’ she said, ‘I’m actually a blonde.’
‘I thought so,’ the doctor said. ‘Your finger is broken.’
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ‘PULL OVER!’
‘NO!’ the blonde yelled back, ‘IT’S A SCARF!’
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!’
The American said, ‘We were the first on the moon!’
The Blonde said, ‘So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!’
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. ‘You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!’ said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, ‘We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!’
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, ‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?’
She thought for a time and then asked, ‘Is it on or off?’
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, ‘Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?’
‘HELLLOOOOOOO……,’ answered the blond. ‘They’re watch dogs!’
Add comment February 28, 2009
Blonde on bonding
A Blonde gets a job as a teacher.
She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
‘You ok?’ she says.
‘Yes.’ he says.
‘You can go and play with the other kids you know.’ she says.
‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says.’
‘Why?’, says the blonde.
The boy says: ‘Because, I’m the goalie!!’
Add comment November 20, 2008
Are His Lights On?
A brunette and a blonde were speeding down the street when they passed a cop. “Oh no!” cried the brunette. “Is he following me?”
“Yep,” replied the blonde.
“I’m going to drive down this little side road, okay?” said the brunette.
“Yep,” replied the blonde.
“Is the cop still following me?”
“Yep.”
“Are his lights on?”
“Yep, nope, yep, nope, yep, nope…”
Add comment May 25, 2007
What Walt Disney Surely Knew
Q. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
A. She gagged.
Add comment December 1, 2006
Can it be True?
A man offers Pamela Andesron a drink at a wedding reception, but pointed out there was only ‘wine and beer’.
Pammy declined the offer as, “wine and beer -ew- that’s a horrible combination.”
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Additional Blonde Bonus- Jessica Simpson age progression.
Add comment November 23, 2006
