Archive for January, 2007

Who’s paying for all of this?

Who’s working anyway?

The population of this country is 300 million.

160 million are retired…

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 40 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with a quagmire.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your a$$, at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.


January 30, 2007 at 5:23 pm Leave a comment



January 29, 2007 at 3:17 am Leave a comment


An Absolute “MUST” have for those that travel…

The next time you find yourself on public transport or an aircraft, sitting next to someone who cannot resist chattering to you endlessly, I urge you to quietly pull your laptop out, carefully open the screen (ensuring the irritating person next to you can see it), and hit this link.

January 28, 2007 at 11:10 pm Leave a comment

Dear Tech Support

*Dear Tech Support,*
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

*Signed, Desperate*
———— ——— ———

*Dear Desperate:*
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT- YOU-LOVED- ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

*Good Luck,**

Tech Support*

January 28, 2007 at 9:12 pm Leave a comment

Nancy Reagan Likes Crack

January 26, 2007 at 8:09 pm Leave a comment

Jan Pehechan-Ho!

January 23, 2007 at 6:12 pm Leave a comment

“Won’t Mom and Dad be Pleased?”

January 22, 2007 at 12:00 am Leave a comment

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