Archive for October, 2009

Celebrating spring

and other pleasures… (more…)

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October 31, 2009 at 3:52 pm Leave a comment

Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes For Your Effeminate Son

October 31, 2009 at 11:46 am Leave a comment

FML

Some entires from the web site Fuck My Life (FML)

  • Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said “Aww, You’re sweet! I love you too!” He looked confused and said, “That’s great, but I was reaching for the remote.” FML
  • Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
  • Today, my husband’s daughter told us that she’s 5 months pregnant. I’m going to be a step grandmother and I’m only 23 years old. FML
  • Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I’ve been using for the past two years are in fact my father’s pubic hair trimmers. FML
  • Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded “yes”. Then she asked if I was sexually active… “no”. FML
  • Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with “no habla engles”. He then tapped me on the shoulder and said “That would’ve been a lot more believable if you weren’t reading that paper.” FML
  • Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend “Would you still love me if I looked like her?” FML
  • Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he proceeded to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML
  • Today, I wanted to have a good lunch with my wife before fasting for my surgery which I may not survive, she decided getting her hair cut was more important. I ate alone. FML
  • Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
  • Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn’t hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can’t drive, our mom drove her there. FML
  • Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, “Why don’t you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?” Then my daughter added, “Yeah, ’cause we LOVE Daddy.” FML
  • Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room… my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
  • Today, I found out that I am being sued for losing a set of wedding photos that I took. I lost them by being mugged on the way home after the shoot and £10,000 worth of equipment was stolen from me. FML
  • Today, the girl I love and I went to visit my parents out of state for the first time. My father grinned and acknowledged that she was a “keeper”, at which she laughed and said we were “just friends”. I was going to propose to her next week. FML
  • Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she’s drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me “Wow! You must really be numb!” FML

 

 

October 31, 2009 at 5:08 am Leave a comment

15 Most Offensive Halloween Costumes

October 31, 2009 at 12:44 am Leave a comment

Holy what?

October 30, 2009 at 11:01 am Leave a comment

Microsoft Songsmith mash-up: Ace of Spades

(more…)

October 30, 2009 at 5:57 am Leave a comment

Ladies and germs, the Plastics

A brief musical interlude:

October 29, 2009 at 11:56 am Leave a comment

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