Archive for October, 2010

Foreplay

A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. They arrive at the club and meet the pro in the Pro Shop.

All three head onto the driving range.

The man tees up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards.

The golf pro says “Not too bad. Now try and hold the club as firm as you hold your wife’s breasts.”

The man follows that instruction and hits the ball 300 yards.

The golf pro says “Excellent! Now your turn.”

Now the woman tees up her first ball. She swings and the ball goes just 30 yards.

Golfpro: “Not too bad. Try holding the club like you would hold your husbands dick.”

She swings and the ball goes 10 yards.

Golfpro: “Not bad, but try taking the club out of your mouth and hit the ball.”

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October 31, 2010 at 4:02 pm Leave a comment

Are they sleeping or are they dead?

Not gruesome, just funny.

From the great Ogden Edsl.

October 30, 2010 at 1:22 am Leave a comment

Absolution

A man was sent to Hell for his sins.

As he was being processed, he passed a room where an economist he knew was having an intimate conversation with a beautiful woman.

“What a crummy deal!” The man complained. “I have to burn for all eternity and that economist spends it with that gorgeous woman.”

An escorting demon jabs the man with his pitchfork and shouts, “Who are you to question that woman’s punishment?”

October 29, 2010 at 7:58 pm Leave a comment

Kinko the Kid-Loving Clown

Mommy! Kinko hurt me!

Classic…

October 29, 2010 at 5:17 am Leave a comment

Three nuns

Three nuns were talking one afternoon over tea.

The first nun said, “I was cleaning in Father’s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines.”

“What did you do?” the other nuns asked.

“Well, of course I threw them in the trash.”

The second nun said, “Well, I can top that. I was in Father’s room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!”

“Oh my!” gasped the other nuns.

“What did you do?” they asked.

“I poked holes in all of them!” she replied.

The third nun fainted.

October 28, 2010 at 3:36 pm Leave a comment

Ring ding ding ding…

October 28, 2010 at 5:07 am Leave a comment

A Bried Musical Interlude.-.The Fools – Psycho Chicken (1980)

October 27, 2010 at 5:04 am Leave a comment

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