Deep Thoughts of Jack Handy

September 25, 2011 at 6:29 pm Leave a comment

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind.” Basically, it’s made up of two separate words, mank and ind. What do these words mean? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.

If you’re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it’s real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.

For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?

If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you’re in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don’t know what to tell you.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

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Entry filed under: Polemic.

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