Archive for December, 2011

Sea cruise

An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, ‚ÄúPardon me, madam…I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”
“Yes, I know,” said the lady.
“I need both my hands to hold onto this hat.”
“But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!”

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December 27, 2011 at 5:09 pm Leave a comment

Things you can get away with saying only at Christmas

1. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
2. Smother the butter all over the breasts!
3. If I don’t undo my trousers, I’ll burst!
4. It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
5. Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
6. Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
7. I didn’t expect everyone to come at the same time!
8. You still have a little bit on your chin.
9. You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.
10. I’m so full, I’ve been gobbling nuts all morning.

December 27, 2011 at 5:04 pm Leave a comment

New app

December 27, 2011 at 5:00 pm Leave a comment

Don’t try this at home

December 20, 2011 at 7:09 pm Leave a comment

Who is responsible for the deterioration of civilized society?

December 20, 2011 at 4:43 pm Leave a comment

A Very Special Calvin and Hobbes Snowpocaplypse (Tribute)

December 18, 2011 at 7:50 am Leave a comment

Report: Nobody’s Heard From David Blaine In A While, Somebody Should Probably Check If He Died

December 17, 2011 at 7:20 am Leave a comment

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