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A Brief Musical Interlude-Death Metal version of Katy Perry (who?)

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July 4, 2012 at 4:54 am Leave a comment

Technology bytes

New York, New York
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Los Angeles, California
Not to be out-done by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed in southern California, an archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet and shortly after the headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: “California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than New York.”

Carencro, Louisiana
One week later, a local newspaper in south Louisiana reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Carencro, (Lafayette Parish, Louisiana), T-Boy Boudreaux, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing! T-Boy has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Cajuns had already gone wireless.”

April 28, 2012 at 4:28 pm Leave a comment

Commercial voiceover

April 14, 2012 at 8:42 pm Leave a comment

Chola-fied

Celebrities made over as latina gangstas:

More

 

March 20, 2012 at 12:38 am Leave a comment

J. Frank Parnell has a few words to say about that

March 6, 2012 at 6:03 pm Leave a comment

From Popbitch this week

A War Horse walks into a bar.
The barman says: “Why the long film?”

The terrorism threat of recent years has seen a huge surge in the number of  dogs being employed by military and police in America. The New Yorker reports that enough good dogs couldn’t be found locally, so they are largely imported from Eastern Europe. These dogs are the descendants of the aggressive patrol dogs bred to guard the Iron Curtain borders of America’s great enemy in Cold War days. Which is rather amusing.

 

March 5, 2012 at 4:20 am Leave a comment

Costa Concordia – too soon?

The Costa Concordia  is the only cruise liner where the sauna is cold but the pool is at 90 degrees.

What kind of desserts do they serve on Italian cruise ships? – Turnovers

How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? – On the rocks

What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? – Leeks

What’s the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? – Follow the captain

When the Italian cruise ship the Costa Concordia started to sink there was a frantic push to get on the lifeboats. Of course this made it easy to spot the British passengers who had formed an orderly queue.

Italian cruise ships rock!

Italian divers searching the stricken cruise ship have found two Scotsmen at the bar. They’ve told the divers to fuck off, they’re all inclusive.

When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going he replied “off course”

I like my women how I like my Italian Cruises. Wet, wrecked and ready to go down.

The Italian army has been called in to help with the people from the grounded cruise ship. But they have now swapped sides and have declared war on the survivors.

A guy walks into a model shop.
“Do you have an aircraft carrier?” he asks.
“I sold out before Christmas,” the shopkeeper replies.
“Have you got a battle ship?”
“No,” said the shopkeeper.
“What have you got in ships?”
“I will go and look in the store room, just wait a minute.”
The shopkeeper came back and said, “I have got a Cruise Liner.”
“Can you put it to one side please.

Italian Police are still interviewing the Korean Honeymoon couple found on the Costa Concordia as to the whereabouts of the rescue dog that first found them.

Costa Concordia – the only place where you are guaranteed to get your drink on the rocks

What’s the difference between the Italian economy and the stricken cruise liner Costa Concordia?
Nothing – The bottoms dropped out of both.

Now I know it’s the 100th anniversary of Titanic and all that but aren’t the Italians going a bit far with their tribute?

The captain of the Costa Concordia says he is not guilty of manslaughter, and has witnesses to prove he was nowhere near the passengers who died.

Attention passengers this is your captain, We of Carnival Cruise Lines Costa Concordia welcome you to Italy. If you look out the port side now you’ll see the beautiful Tuscan sky and to our starboard you’ll see the old
Italian navy.

The Costa Concordia is probably the most expensive thing to go down in Italy since Berlusconi’s last hooker.

I’ve just bought a Costa Concordia lotto ticket. Fingers crossed it’s not another roll over next week…

Italian cruise ship captain walks into a bar and says
“Whiskey please barman…”
“On the rocks, sir?” says the barman
“Oh Fok off!”

So the captain of the Costa Concordia will soon be in the dock. That’s more than can be said for his ship.

The captain of the Costa Concordia was showing off to his mate on the island and was doing fine until he tried the barrel role.

FOR SALE: One second-hand Italian cruise ship. Modern spacious fully-functioning and luxurious. Only known fault: sat nav unreliable. Open to offers, buyer collects.

It’s not all bad news for the captain of the Costa Concordia. He may never captain a ship again, but the Navy have expressed an interest in giving him command of a submarine.

Captain was heard saying “Watch-a me-a! I can grab-a my balls-a, and steer the sheep ata the same-a time!”

February 13, 2012 at 7:32 pm Leave a comment

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